http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbiCewkUiIg&feature=related
so true but that dosent change the fakt that this has been the...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDSud7vAH_0&NR=1

well fuck it.
the depression and unhappiness is a part of me, aperantly.
ill just need to find a way to live like this.
the heart problems and lonlyness.
well atleased my movies wont leave me, so i will atleased have that.

whats the point of haveing it easy to feal strong fealings when it goes both ways.
when the deepest wound being deeper and the other things.

when it comes to being and fealing like this. maby it where better before when time passed and i dident care and being unsocial dident realy matter.
that does not help me now when i feal like being with people and not on my own.

is the experience a good one if it makes you the happiest and luckiest and then turns it around.
maby then it whould be better to go unknowing.

well who am i kidding. the best thing i know is to be with a person you like the most in the world. maby a hug or two.

any way. i cant say how i feal to any one for i dont whant to drag them down to.
and i cant whrite what i want for the probobility of the wrong person reading it and taking it in a way that hurts them.

maby i cant respect more when i cant realy do any thing for not wanting to hurt any one on purpous not even someone i dont like.
if i respected my self more. but i dont take anything in a way that whould be better for my cause.

any way. what im trying to say is probobly that im somewhat depressed and i dont whant your sympathy and i dont whant you to care. i dont whant you to crawl in the mud alongside me.

im sad and to see a friend or even a person i like sad whould only make me sader and more depressed.

so fuck this day and all that you have read.

a glas of water then its time for bed.
see you some time, or not.