one more day in hell.

well today is only one more day in hell. atleast there is someone making it abit better.
well today may be only one more day in hell, but atleast its soon endning.

to be the one who whould do any thing for the one.
but instead be the one who whould do anything for someone he almost dosent know.

well atleast the futureball on facebook said i should thank yes to the next party. and that i'll change my life. well that may be true, but then i live the life where no one askes you if you whanna do something. i live in the shadow, no one realy knows how it is there, and they dont care. they live in the light looking only on what they have and can get.

well i see somethings i whould like to have but i cant get. my most trusted friends are the ones who stabbs me in the back one to two times a week.

i see only one way to change the fakt that im here in the shadow of the world. and that whould need me to let go and grow some confidense. all those years people have told me that im fat, ugly and made fun of me for being so slow.

well all the times of trying and only one time of luck. that ends in desaster. a broken heart and a black hole. well maby im not supose to find happiness in more than making movies. if i work and work hard to make the swedish filmindustry grow.
to make people have fun and laugh. ill find some peace knowing i made a difference.

maby one day someone will take there beloved ones to one of my movies have the time of there life and find new true love in each other.

well in a few month i may loose the contakt with the friends that started the change of the sad and pathetic little fuck i where. some day may come when all is change but well it seems that i will wait a eternity.

im a coward that dosent whant to be in the way for any one. can have day dreams of people he walks by of a miljon ways to right there hurt them so fucking bad.

but dont and get terrified that he had those dreams.

if happiness for one day may be bouth i might skramble the money necessary.

in my mind im so fucking dark but outside i nearly cant hurt a fly. well oops i can hurt flys and moths when they fly in to my room and disturbe me they can have it. im the lowest in rank of all humans but they dont over rank me, so a laser in there eyes to temoarily blind them to make me feal better.

some how i think it will take years for me to find someone at my level to be my friend. to share with. jesper andersson, respect that you have been my best friend sinse eternity started. but you have your wife and you live in "söderköping".

there is two kinds of soulmates.
there is the kind in love and there is the kind in friendship.
then someone can be both.

when i move i will find you my smal hairy best friend. youll be my spoiled dog.
but you might have to drag along a smal other friend the lepardgeko.

i wish for a few extra braincells to understand fealings better.
school took my sympathy and my compassion. you turned me to stone.
for never have experienced things others did.

now all i whant is someone to make smile. someone thats happy with me.
someone to give my all to. all the love i burried, for no one to use.

all the times iv cried. all the times iv pittied my self.
im a loonly fool. hiding in the shadow to never be found.
well in the shadow i cant get hurt but the price is that to never truly be happy.
the price may be bigger than the use.

but someday, someday.

Sonata Arctica - Replica
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WedbVDEwW_A&feature=related

"nothing is what it seems to be, im a replica"